What is a piece of Paper

Paper. Parchment. Carta. Papyrus. These are among the many different ways to say paper, an invention that has arguably (depending on who you ask) made the world a better place. Thanks to the ancient Egyptians weaving strips of the papyrus reed together, even the lowliest amongst us can record their words for posteriority.

It is true that without paper much of history would be lost – after all, knowledge became extinct when Alexandria first burned. It has taken us years to rediscover what was lost on those precious scrolls. But, what does it truly mean to those of us that live day to day in a modern and ever more complicated world?

As an author it is my means of creation and communication. Painters use it to paint and readers to read. Some people roll it up and smoke it while others use it to wrap dishes on moving day. It makes great paper-mache for pinatas. Kids use it to make paper airplanes. The Japanese even use it to make delicate works of art called origami. All in all paper is a wonderfully useful tool invented by the ancient Egyptians.

As someone living in this world it also means so much more and less. Why do I need a piece of paper to tell me I am married to the man I love, my best friend? He and I both feel that it isn’t necessary to prove our love by obtaining a piece of paper made by man – a near decade together should be enough to prove that. Common law marriages have been around since time immemorial and were often used when a priest couldn’t be found. Yet others around us seem to think that we are temporary or nothing without it.

I know of couples that couldn’t stay together with a piece of paper and vows. I also know of couples that never should have gotten married in the first place. For one reason or another they went after a piece of paper that they didn’t respect and all the legalities in the world couldn’t keep them together.

While true that couples do grow apart, if a couple decides they don’t want to be together, that piece of paper will not keep them together. Just like a child can’t keep a couple together, neither can a sheet of paper.

What keeps people together is people and their love are respect for each other, not paper. People and what they want and believe are what counts. Just because you believe in something, doesn’t mean everyone else does though.

Reading this, you might think that I am against legal marriage. I’m not. I’m all for it when the time and person is right for those involved. My situation is perfect for me, don’t tell me it is wrong just because you don’t believe in it. If a common law marriage was good enough for Benjamin Franklin (yes the founding father – don’t believe me, Google it), then it is more than good enough for me.

If we want to take a historical look at marriage, lets use the Puritans as an example. They believed that a marriage was a contract between two people to care for and help one another that was separate from religion. I, personally, don’t need a sheet of paper to do that. I know where my heart lies and a piece of paper won’t change that. It can’t.

Traditionally marriages were used to make alliances between families or countries. More than one war was averted by an arranged marriage. People even married to keep crowns out of other peoples hands. They married to make sure children were taken care of and to lessen a burden at home. They married to share chores on a homestead. Very rarely were they about love. Something I am glad about for the modern age – I love that my marriage (be it on paper or not) is about love. Because love is what matters and nothing else.

I realize that for many people, religion states that marriage in a church, synagogue, mosque, or temple is the only way to signify that you are married before God – I won’t even get into the fact that in the time of Jesus a marriage was consummated in a church (ewwww). While I do not personally believe this to be true, I do respect your point of view. Note that I did not say that I don’t believe in God, I wholeheartedly do – those are another set of beliefs that I keep to myself.

What keeps my husband and I (as well as many other common law couples) together is choice. We choose to be a couple. We choose to communicate. Above all, we choose to love. A piece of paper cannot guarantee any of those choices being made. As human beings we can.

It is our choices that define whether paper is even necessary to a given situation. So why do so many people define a situation by something that isn’t necessarily relevant to those involved?

That is an answer that I don’t have. I wish I did.

What is a writer?

People often ask what is a writer. A writer is simply someone who has words in their blood and soul. They are someone who never gives up on their passion so long as they can tell the story that they have in them. So never give up on your dreams and always live your passions.

What is Wrong With You??

As promised in the site description I tend to give the occasional rant. Keep in mind this has nothing to do with any of my works. This is a personal opinion piece. Happy Reading!

We all have people in life that will consistently come to us with their problems. They never seem to know what to do with themselves, and it’s often amazing that they can even feed and dress without guidance. I honestly have no general problem with these people, we all have our own issues from time to time. Unfortunately I cannot always help you with your life as I often have a life of my own to deal with.

Without trying to be unduly harsh, I have a few steps you might consider before hollering for help.

Do not bring your problems to me. I am not a witch from a fairy tale. I do not have a magic wand to wave that will make all of your issues disappear. Take responsibility for your own actions and watch how your life is better. You will find that stress will often disappear and arguments decrease. No one ever promised that everything would be fair, so accept it and move on, because whining doesn’t really help the situation.

If someone boils over like a volcano at you, ask yourself what YOU did to upset them. Think about what you may have said or done. Own whatever it was you may have said or done and strive to make sure it doesn’t happen again. I’m not saying that whomever is getting mad has a right to; I am just saying that you may have played more than a minor part in upsetting them.

Even superheroes screw up from time to time; no one is perfect. If you make a mistake acknowledge it. Afterwards strive to ensure it doesn’t reoccur. Life isn’t always without weeds, but you can help to control the weeds that you spread if you watch yourself.

The grass isn’t always greener on the other side, so quit always thinking it is. Just because your neighbor uses non-GMO products, doesn’t mean you have to. It’s not always a good thing to copy the monkeys. When you wonder why someone else’s life isn’t as difficult, find what you are doing wrong in your own life and see where YOU need to make changes. What YOU do makes the waves in your own life.

Oceans are exhausting to cross. When someone travels 4500 miles to do something for YOU, the only thing you should be is grateful. If you complain about something that person’s partner conceivably may or may not do, than the problem lies with you. If the only things you see are negative than you have an issue; not the rest of the world.

People are not ants in a colony. They have their own thoughts, emotions, and views. If you consistently tread on them and treat them like they don’t matter, resentment is the only thing that grows from it. Part of life is acknowledging other people are different and not sneering upon them because you don’t like it. Accepting these differences, is only going to enhance your own quality of life.

Just as plants need nurturing to grow, so do people. When YOU consistently degrade and humiliate another person, that tells them that they don’t matter to you. By dismissing other people you are doing yourself a grave injustice; and that travesty is allowing yourself to grow as a person. If you can’t grow how will you become the happy and capable person that you want to be?

The winners in life are the ones that are truly human. If you show true gratitude, own what you have done, and acknowledge your mistakes, I can almost guarantee you that your life will improve ten fold.